The Baker/Sheahan Family: Recognizing the Opportunity to Impact Generations

One of FaithBridge Foster Care's biggest areas of focus is recruiting families who are open to fostering teenagers. Many of the referrals that we receive are for children between the ages of 11 and 17, but most foster families in our community prefer to take in younger children. To bridge the gap, FaithBridge is launching special training programs designed to equip families with the skills they need to parent teens. We are also highlighting families who are fostering teenagers and who can provide insight into the joys and challenges it offers.

The Baker/Sheahan family is one family who understand what it's like to foster teenagers. Jeanne Sheahan was introduced to fostering while working as a mentor with a group home. Recognizing Jeanne's ability to connect with emotionally withdrawn children, the supervisor at the home asked her to work with a 12-year old girl named Karen who came from a difficult background. Jeanne worked with Karen for several months, during which time she learned about her older sister, Jen, whom she also began working with.

After mentoring the two girls for a year, it became obvious that the girls returning to their family would not be an option. At that point, the Baker/Sheahans decided to go through foster care training so they could bring the girls into their home. Although they had never fostered before, they did have experience raising two teenage boys and felt they had the parenting skills and the spiritual support to handle it. "I truly believe that 80 percent of the time, if you give these teens  a good home, love on them and show them they have worth, you can turn them around," said Jeanne.

But Jeanne also acknowledges that love needs to be coupled with structure and discipline. Often, this means trying to analyze the more challenging behaviors. "Every teenager is immature because of their age. You have to try to understand what they've gone through in order to determine if the behavior is normal teenage behavior or if they are modeling the only behavior they know." If it's the latter, Jeanne said they help the girls understand that they have a choice to either continue the cycle or break it. "Some of the needed behavior changes take a long time to sink in, but eventually they get it and over time come to laugh or shake their heads at what they used to do." In working with Jen and Karen, the Baker/Sheahans have found it rewarding to know that transforming one teenager's life not only sets that individual up to make a positive impact on society, but it also changes future generations.  

While modeling healthy behavior and communications skills is one way foster families can help teens transition from childhood to adulthood, families can also help them learn about and take advantage of the many resources that are available to teens. Georgia's Independent Living Program provides a variety of supportive services designed to help eligible foster children successfully transitioning towards adulthood, including help with savings, housing, education and job training. This program is available to any teen who was or is in foster care at 14 or higher, so it not only is benefiting Karen who is now adopted, but also her sister Jen who is remaining in foster care to take advantage of more  benefits as she starts her college years. Karen chose adoption as she was younger when she entered foster care and wanted the structure and security of a permanent home now.

The Baker/Sheahan family officially adopted Karen on June 18, 2010. The family has committed to providing these girls, and even their older brother, a loving family that will able them grow into strong, independent young adults. They are all blossoming in their second chance of life.

The Baker/Sheahan family continues to open their hearts and home to children in need. In January 2011, they welcomed the placement of a 10 year-old girl.

Jeanne believes that empty nesters and families with teenagers are excellent candidates to foster teens because they already have a lot of the experience needed. It benefits the foster teen to have a buddy in the home and gives them a healthy model of a teen to learn from. It also helps open the eyes of biological children to the plight of those less fortunate. "Teenagers are in their own bubble," she said. "Their biggest priorities can be peers, cellphones, etc.  until they realize how little others have." Since living with the girls, Jeanne's younger son Adam has become an even more compassionate young man and more community-oriented as well. "Every teen should be exposed to this."

Jeanne's gave 3 pieces of advice from her past two years in raising foster teens:

• Find the humor in situations and the little wins each day.
• Don't focus on the future too much.  Do the right things today and let God finish His planning of their future
• Don't let their issues become your issues. In other words, don't let your emotions react to what they have the responsibility to work on.